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Startup Roast

minha cara quando o RH marca 'conversa rápida' sexta às 17h58

fingindo normal depois que o barista errou seu nome pela 5ª vez

me pretending I didn't see the 'typing...' bubble disappear

that face when HR schedules a 'quick chat' on a Friday

domingo à noite chegando às 18h tipo anúncio impossível de pular

opinião impopular: open office é psyop contra produtividade

quando o Wi-Fi morre no ranked e todo seu rizz some

quando você disse 'só amigos' mas a galeria conta outra história

explaining to my mom why I'm still single at brunch

मेरी चाय की टपरी पे! - India got latent

Banana is a fruit, but Ch***ya Banana is an art!

when you said 'just friends' but your camera roll disagrees

AITA por recusar dividir a conta quando só pedi salada

quando a 'reunião rápida' vira 45 minutos e você já tá cooked

eu no self-checkout quando toca 'item inesperado na área de embalagem'

TIFU: respondi todos da empresa com um meme cursed

minha conta depois de um 'mimo' todo dia essa semana

opinião quente: abacaxi na pizza é elite, ratio vindo

Trudeau - ''I want to speak first directly to the American people, your governme

hot take: your situationship isn't complicated, you're just delulu with options

Kim Kardashian endorses Nazi Elon Musk’s cybertruck, making it clear Kanye’s Naz

posting thirst traps with captions about self love, we see you

hot take: your situationship isn't complicated, you're just delulu

tech bro descobre touch grass e reinventa a natureza

alguém anuncia detox das redes e posta de novo em 4 minutos

Fake Tweet

a hot take that pineapple on pizza is elite, fully ready to get ratio'd

live-tweeting getting curved in real time, no notes

Viral Hot Take

live-tweet do glow-up na academia que morre no dia três

Dark Mode Hot Take

live-tweeting getting curved in real time, absolutely no notes

sendo delulu sobre quem te deixou no vácuo por uma semana

thread: signs your talking stage is actually a group project with no leader

chamando tudo de 'mid' inclusive a própria personalidade

guy proudly introducing his dog as his 'Chief Happiness Officer'

humble brag about waking at 4am while clearly unhinged

CEO posta selfie chorando por layoffs, main-character energy

LinkedIn Humble Brag

CEO posting about vulnerability after laying off half the company

thought leader sharing life-changing wisdom he got from his Uber driver

CEO posting a crying selfie about layoffs, peak main character energy

recruiter calling unpaid overtime 'passion for the mission'

recrutador explicando que estágio não pago 'forma caráter'

founder thanking the team for grinding all weekend (unpaid, very inspiring)

LinkedIn Wrapped

turning getting laid off into a 'growth opportunity' with 30 hashtags

post motivacional que termina com 'Opiniões? 👇'

vender demissão como 'oportunidade de crescimento' com 30 hashtags

founder agradecendo o time por trabalhar no fim de semana (sem pagar)

thought leader discovers boundaries and makes it a 14-slide carousel

humble-brag de acordar às 4h, peak era burnout

malicious compliance: my boss tried to micromanage my lunch break

AITA for ghosting the group chat that only plans trips that never happen

AITA por comer o marmita etiquetada da geladeira compartilhada

compliance malicioso: chefe quer micromanager meu almoço

AITA for eating my flatmate's clearly labeled Tesco meal deal

unpopular opinion: 'we should talk' is scarier than any horror movie

Reddit User Analytics

unpopular opinion: open-plan offices are a psyop against getting anything done

6 horas overthinking uma mensagem de uma palavra do situationship

AITA for unmatching someone who said 'wyd' at 2am for the 9th time

alguém manda pensamento de banho às 3h no void

2am Discord Chaos

voice call morre quando alguém pergunta 'vocês já ficaram ou não ficaram'

friends hyping each other up over the tiniest possible win, real ones

amigo que diz 'não manda double text' e te manda um textão de 47 mensagens de ansiedade

someone announcing they're 'locking in' for finals then sending 40 memes

dropping your crush's Instagram in general chat then claiming it was an accident

roast night do server: galera rankeia suas red flags tipo fantasy football

joga o insta do crush no chat geral e finge que foi sem querer (não foi)

server roast night where everyone ranks your red flags like fantasy football

o squad discutindo comida por 3 horas às 2 da manhã

the friend who says 'don't double text' then sends you a 47-message anxiety essay

alguém escreve 'quem tá acordado' às 4h — silêncio total

someone launching an unhinged 3am shower thought straight into the void

Kamala Harris describing exactly what would happen to the economy if Donald Trum

chaotic debate about whether cereal is technically soup, server divided

the squad arguing for 3 hours about where to order food at 2am

noite de filme travada 2h porque ninguém escolhe

debate eterno: hot dog é sanduíche

mods soltam regra nova que ninguém vai ler

iMessage Chat

Tim Walz - ”If you say you love freedom but you don't believe freedom is for eve

WhatsApp Chat

Instagram DM

Telegram Chat

Messenger Chat

Slack Thread

Spotify Wrapped mas são prints IMG_8473 na galeria

KPI trimestral: textos flirty enviados vs resposta só 'haha'

Thirst Trap Screen Time

Main Character Movie

expectativa vs realidade do home office no mesmo moletom a semana toda

Parallel Universe You

Situationship Wrapped

Student Wrapped

Founder Wrapped 2026

Hinge Wrapped: vezes que falei 'beige flag' vs vezes que eu era a beige flag

Spotify Wrapped do meu screen time constrangedor

dashboard: abas abertas vs tarefas feitas hoje

Justice for the Public

relatório anual de situationships que morreram no 'visualizado' depois do 'kkk'

recap da academia que usei exatamente duas vezes

Spotify Wrapped do meu delulu em apps de namoro

pra onde vai meu salário: aluguel, lattes, arrependimento

my year of doomscrolling and binge habits as a streaming report

my crypto portfolio performance this year as a market terminal

a founder's brutally honest annual reality report

a startup's chaotic year in review, wrapped style

the year everyone pretended to understand AI, report card style

a slice of pizza throwing up the deuces and winking

a houseplant silently judging your life choices

a sassy takeaway coffee cup that has seen way too much

Investor Ghosted Me

Another Monday

AI Goblin

AI Goblin — code sneeze

Deploying On Friday

Corporate Hamster

Startup Cat

Sticker sample

Startup Cat — burning cash

Meeting Could Have Been Email

a wifi router crying because the connection dropped

Corporate Hamster — meeting wheel

a melting ice cream cone having an existential crisis

a smartphone in full panic mode at 1% battery

Rizz Fox

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